Monday, June 25, 2007

I'll fucking do it then.

Hi all; just a quick kick in the blogging bottom, this.

Those of you not in Ed' have missed the following recently:

i) One Jeffrey Ketland getting explosively muddy whilst wearing an off-white suit and playing rounders in the Meadows.

ii) Rare glimpses of the lesser-spotted Dave Ward, when a certain Nicky "the Dave Robber" Ford has let him out of her sight. (Dennett is here on Wednesday, here's hoping that Dave won't renege on his promise to pull his beard).

iii) Mog flying into a violent rage over the correct description of the taste of celery.

iv) A spectacularly peculiar and drunken evening at chez Chris 'n' Tom on Friday night / early Saturday morning, featuring the lamest game of 'ring of fire' the world has ever seen.

What's your news, Americans?

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

human folly

Greetings all. Against my better judgment, I feel compelled to relate to you a memorable event that occurred to me today.

You know when you do something unbelievably stupid and also unbelievably painful in public, and then the embarrassment just about overcomes the pain, so, to preserve your dignity, you pretend it didn't happen until you can find a private spot to sit down and cry?

I was in the bookshop at Columbia this afternoon. It has a revolving door onto the street. I entered the revolving door without incident. My error was to attempt to exit the door before it had revolved around far enough. The result was a crunching face-first collision with the commendably transparent window that I had mistaken for thin air. In the initial shock I was able to stumble out the door and continue around the corner as though nothing had happened ("don't let anyone see what you just did", my brain told me). As soon as I was a safe distance away I realised what tremendous pain I was in and had to crouch down for a few minutes recovering and dabbing blood from my nose. I then went into the library cafe and sat on a comfy chair for an hour and a half, trying to work; instead I occupied myself, first, with wondering if I was about to pass out from the ache in my face and brain, and, if so, whether I should find a doctor, and, second, fretting that I had broken my nose. I don't think I had, though it's a bit swollen at the top.

Anyway, I am back to full health and consoling myself with the thought that I couldn't possibly do anything so comically inept again for the rest of my life.