Wednesday, June 06, 2007

human folly

Greetings all. Against my better judgment, I feel compelled to relate to you a memorable event that occurred to me today.

You know when you do something unbelievably stupid and also unbelievably painful in public, and then the embarrassment just about overcomes the pain, so, to preserve your dignity, you pretend it didn't happen until you can find a private spot to sit down and cry?

I was in the bookshop at Columbia this afternoon. It has a revolving door onto the street. I entered the revolving door without incident. My error was to attempt to exit the door before it had revolved around far enough. The result was a crunching face-first collision with the commendably transparent window that I had mistaken for thin air. In the initial shock I was able to stumble out the door and continue around the corner as though nothing had happened ("don't let anyone see what you just did", my brain told me). As soon as I was a safe distance away I realised what tremendous pain I was in and had to crouch down for a few minutes recovering and dabbing blood from my nose. I then went into the library cafe and sat on a comfy chair for an hour and a half, trying to work; instead I occupied myself, first, with wondering if I was about to pass out from the ache in my face and brain, and, if so, whether I should find a doctor, and, second, fretting that I had broken my nose. I don't think I had, though it's a bit swollen at the top.

Anyway, I am back to full health and consoling myself with the thought that I couldn't possibly do anything so comically inept again for the rest of my life.

6 comments:

Tom R said...

That's a beautiful story Conor, thankyou. My brother did something similar in a supermarket in Spain once (although he was seven, in fairness).

Lottie said...

Ooh, nasty! As the world's most clumsy person I sympathise entirely. Yesterday I was in a shop in town and manged to fall down the steps (who puts steps in the middle of a shop anyway?). Of course as I crashed to the ground everyone stopped and went quiet and, inconveniently, the song that was playing comes to an end so there's complete silence as I pick myself up and reassure everyone that I'm ok. It's only once I've got out of the shop attempting to leave my embarrassment behind that I realise I've skinned my knee and that it's acually hurting quite a lot. Damn it!

Anyway, on a happier note, there are some new photos on my flickr page from our recent trip to Arran (which I think Tom or Chris should give you a summary of) and also from Edo's leaving do.

Ciao!
Lottie x

Anonymous said...

You silly man.

- Chris Morris

Anonymous said...

I am always doing things like this because I am also quite cack-handed. As daft as 2 short brushes. It is principally because my brain hasn't developed properly.

- Tom F. Roberts

Anonymous said...

Back off McHugh, slapstick is mine!

- Coco T. Clown

Anonymous said...

I am a great big Gay, and my maw sells herself for the price of a can of special brew on the streets of Bolton.

- CM Morris.