Brothers and Sisters, the day has come! we, existentialists pre-decostructivists, will on this day take on those analytic losers from that town just north of here which barely made it few weeks ago to become a city. other people might call it
Sartre(s) of Midlothian vs Rapid Vienna Circle, 5pm Meadowbank
the other day i watched jacquet (that's the coach of france when they won the world cup) telling his troops that the secret was solidaritè
so, brothers and sisters, I salute your courage, strenght and indefatigability, in solidarity, victory shall be ours!
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GLORIOUS VICTORY FOR EDINBURGH PHILOSOPHERS
Rapid Vienna Circle were given a humiliating lesson on Tuesday
evening, as they were crushed 5-0 in a mesmerising display of total
football by Sartre of Midlothian. The outcome scarcely did justice to
Sartre's superiority, and it buried the memories of Rapid's
controversial 3-2 win in the first leg.
Having had time to gel as a team, Sartre bore little resemblance to
the disorganised rabble of two weeks ago. Instead they were a
well-oiled machine, their ingenious 2-3-1 formation working
perfectly.
Confusion over the rules saw an early Rapid 'goal' disallowed - the
visitors deviously ignoring a goalmouth exclusion zone that they
themselves had argued for. This zone was then abandoned.
Sartre's striker Jonathan Broyles had already struck the post and
the crossbar, and the Rapid keeper had made a series of acrobatic
saves, before the scoring began. Conor McHugh was played through on
the left, and brilliantly deceived the keeper by placing his shot in
the opposite corner to the one he was aiming for.
Soon afterwards it was 2-0, as Broyles hit the target from the
right after another flowing move. Sartre's supremacy was confirmed
when Ezio 'The Berserk Turk' Al Nucci scored a third before
half-time. Al Nucci rounded the keeper and the last defender with a
deft header, then stroked the ball into the corner of the net.
The second half was showtime. The iron defence of Sartre
comfortably held off Rapid's desperate attempts to claw back a goal
and some dignity. Further goals by Broyles and Zidane-like midfielder
Christos Kyriacou extended the lead to five. Sartre also 'missed'
several open goals, not wanting to appear inhospitable by reaching
double figures.
The final whistle was greeted with relief by Rapid's exhausted
players, who sportingly hung around to earn a draw in the evening's
drinking event. It is not known whether the authorities will impose a
fine on the Stirling outfit for a late-night incident in which one of
their players left his mark on the furniture at a flat on Rankeillor
Street.
Sartre of Midlothian are attempting to organise more fixtures. It
is hoped that potential opponents will not be put off by the
inevitable thrashing they face.
Certainly Rapid suffered from a lack of leadership. Without Cunningham's commanding presence in mid-field the team was not the slick football machine that we have come to know. I'm sure that in any summer re-match under Cunningham's iron discipline Rapid will be back to their usual high standard.
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